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we come to the end of another year

 

we come to the end of another year.

I wrote a book this year; most of 2022 - and my whole life - was spent on the research, but pen to paper/ laptop to Word doc was done this year. I am now only 1/6 of the way through 2nd edits/3rd draft; publish date pushed back.

I’m the brokest I’ve ever been in my adult life.

I thought I had a handle on colonialism; its structures, its power dynamics, its many forms.
but this war on Gaza was pushed me to learn more, read more, shifted perspectives, and sharpened lenses and outlook. I really want to solidify my articulation of (the shifting concept of) whiteness, and adjacency to whiteness, and those global power structures. I write about home, ask about reparations, but need to question what do these words mean, how do they get utilised, weaponised, co-opted and owned. My obsession with nostalgia and weaving past with a future is present in so much. #ceasefirenow🇵🇸

I had two holidays this year that had nothing to do with work (although I have now pitched stories on both), which is a first in years. It turns out a break is so important.

I’m reminded of when, pre pandemic Sarawak pepper research, interviewing a grandmother about her farm and she told me she was going on holiday that weekend - a trip to the Kuching, the first holiday in five years. (I had driven from Kuching that mornkng). She told me what she was planning to pack, what she was going to eat, what she would see. She was very excited. Holidays for all. Let’s pay more for pepper (spices, produce, independent agriculture).

I gave up caffeinated coffee, and drinking this year (sort of - I’m a taster, not a drinker). I now take daily heart meds, which I have to have with food, so now I’m a breakfast person; it’s ok. I love breakfast but only when I really have the time for it. What I miss most is a martini. A whole year without one. It’s not forever, but it is for now. 🍸

I took up yoga this year. I love it.

I hope 2024 is a fruit bearer. I hope it consolidates all the good work.

I have big dreams. For more collaborations, platforming, supporting.

My father used to send WhatsApp photos to our family group chat with the date and location, but no real description, therefore I date this photo, this reflection of 2023 with:

Sunday, 3 December 2023. Jubilee Line. 

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